Fading Out

Gripped

2011-09-27T21:12:00.002-06:00

I can feel the sadness grip me
literally feeling like hands wrapping around my chest
claws tearing into my flesh
splitting me in two until I can no longer keep the tears in

only a quick gasp escapes with the initial burst
silently then they pour forth
mutedly they continue to burn down my face falling onto my heaving chest
I struggle to catch my breath

as quickly as the intense melancholy is brought on
it leaves me; tear streaked and alone
so confused
still morose
finally able to breathe

What To Do

2011-06-01T23:15:00.001-06:00

What do you do when you're at home
saying you want to go home?

What do you do when you remember
the last time you did that?

What do you do when you feel
the world you've made crumbling?

What do you do when you can't stop yourself?

Shared Skies

2011-04-17T18:31:00.000-06:00

Do you look out onto the same stars?
Do you see the same moon?
the night wraps us both
So freeing in its darkness,
so suffocating in its stillness.

The city lights are dimming
people are retreating
the sidewalks quiet
Every noise seems alien

Are you seeing the same night?
Looking out your window
searching for the meaning that escapes your logic

Am I alone tonight?
Staring at these stars
apart for now
distance too real
But am I alone?
Or are you seeing and feeling this?

Darkness

2011-04-17T18:26:00.002-06:00

I crave the dark
the night and all it gives me
Hiding away
being alone as the world sleeps

You weren't supposed to share it with me
Weren't suppose to feel the same
I wasn't to feel peace in you at night
the night was mine

You've taken my night away
razed the serenity I had there
Now the night sees me crumble
the tears that lead to my sleep

I craved the darkness
and now I'm lost in the night

Cruelty

2011-04-17T18:24:00.000-06:00

Fate is cruel; she's heartless
The lessons were to have been learned
it was so much so fast..
I should've known better,
than to accept it,
than to trust it to stay.

I know better, I do
I just didn't want to know.

Prove It

2010-05-29T21:00:00.002-06:00

When the memories are ripping you apart
When the pain is insufferable
When the thoughts of what was turn to nightmares
Depriving you of peace at night
Keeping you desperate to be awake

Is it really better to have loved and lost?

Prove it when every night is torture

Secret Music

2009-03-04T19:41:00.002-07:00

the chords of music you can't hear
soundtrack to my world
melodies to sooth both rage and sorrow
music that changes for each encounter...
achingly sad
exceedingly joyful
the power of unheard sounds
perhaps it plays silently across the eyes

if only I could share such beautiful harmonies
let everyone listen so they may know
if the world truly sounded so...
what would I learn to hear the music of those around me

strains of notes fill my mind's ears
background to dreams and fantasies
secrets for me alone
impishly I adore the silent music

Noah

2009-03-04T19:40:00.001-07:00

and at the end of it all
I stand here alone
heart in hand
bleeding tears down
while the world continues
as it was
as it will be
two by two

Give

2009-03-04T19:35:00.002-07:00

I give up
never thought it would come to this
life has beaten me
and I give

how long should I have to wait?
to know that which I seek?
to stop knowing,
in Excruciating detail,
all that I know now?
seems so long already

there's a point when you can't
a breaking point
and I've passed mine long ago
kept going
kept searching
with the blind faith of a woman possessed
Desperate to find what I thought should exist for me

never thought life would win
always assumed I'd make it
be Stronger for all that I've passed

I give up
never thought it would come to this
life has beaten me
and I give
Mercy

Option B

2009-02-27T01:05:00.002-07:00

Can't seem to sleep
Suppose I'll cry instead
feel my stomach knot
forhead wrinkle
Lips curl

Pick a thought, so many to choose from
like a flea market of damaged goods
laid out on display for perusal
Any one will do,
always more if the choice just won't work

Feel the burn and swell
First tear on my cheek
so many more to follow
Letting them out as I pick through the crowd at the table
who will get the best of the bunch?
What options do I have?

Cry softly until there's nothing left
Or until the descent into sorrowful slumber
whichever comes first

Worthy

2009-02-27T01:00:00.002-07:00

it's not worth it
not worth the tears, frustration, and sadness
a person is whole alone
a heart beats by its own accord

it's not worth the drop after so much hope
the crashes, the falls
always so hard on the soul

the mind plays games
the heart pays the admission
there is nothing to gain
only regret at having gone down the path again

to have never yearned for another's heart
is to have never cried because of denial
is to have never burned because of withdrawal

can't imagine anything is worth all this
the rise and falls
the cries, the tears
unsure of ones own perceptions and judgements
the battering after another realization that you aren't enough

just isn't worth all this

Advisory

2009-02-27T00:59:00.002-07:00

I wasn't built to fall
Despite all appearances
I shatter when I hit bottom

Anon....

2009-02-27T00:56:00.000-07:00

and yet the eyes won't stay
the heart won't heal
the soul can't mend

the mind grasps desperately to logic
emotion pulls at the fingers of reason
destroying their grip
releasing the paranoia
allowing the fears to be free

the tears flow
the heart bleeds
the soul dies

and yet the mind keeps trying to reason...

Edges

2009-02-13T21:47:00.004-07:00

there is something wrong with me
I feel it deep
undeniably wrong, impossibly ingrained
and I can't stop it
I don't know what else to do

can't feel normal
can't be normal
never quite fit
never quite right

there'll always be something wrong
i'll never more than "fine"
and I'll always be on the cusp of it all

even among those most like me
I stand alone

from the crowd I'm on the edges
never quite in the circle
never entirely ignored

Suffocation

2008-12-15T00:10:00.002-07:00

I can't breathe...

One day...
One day I'll be able to breathe...
I'll be able to see everything as it is...

For now everything is pressing...
For now it's crushing...
Life is pulling the air from my lungs...

I can't breathe...

How

2008-04-06T21:30:00.000-06:00

So, how did I know?
Simple…
I never had to ask.
I never asked myself if he
was the right one for me.
He just was…

In my quietest moments,
I knew it to be true and…
I felt it like
I've never felt anything since.

Picture

2008-04-06T21:29:00.000-06:00

You're looking at me from your picture
a moment when everything was right
perfection personified in your eyes

You walked away
slammed the door
said your goodbyes without letting me know

You can be content in all that you have
the end was your choice
it was your time

You didn't let me say it
never allowed me the chance
to close my eyes and lock you out

You made it impossible
not to miss you
not to pine for you

You took away my goodbye
left me staring at a wall
left me with a picture

You haunt my dreams
please let me be
I wish the picture would fade...

Almost made me cry...

2008-04-06T21:19:00.002-06:00

what I comfort I can find for a moment
but the moments I find are so distant
shaded and overgrown

I think that you understand me
beyond what I've chose to tell

there's a lot of painful pruning
to be done for any new growth
time to let you snip away
but that's a lot to ask

by Stephen Pepper

Pepper

2008-04-06T21:19:00.001-06:00

Sometimes at night with my eyes closed
Thoughts of you enter my consciousness
Escaping from the pit I've hidden them away in
Plucking raw my still open wound left by you
Hurting my heart; making me remember things best forgotten
Each time I close my eyes to see yours
Nothing pains me more

Untitled - July 16, 2007

2007-07-16T22:57:00.000-06:00

Do you know what you said?
Are you aware
Did the words slip out
Or were they thought out?

Did you plan it?
To see if I would notice
If I would react

Perhaps they just fell out
slipped through your fingers
Are you sure you feel them?

They struck me hard
Knowing they're sincere
But unsure how true
How real are words?

Did you notice mine?
They're true and felt I promise
Thought brought them out
Agonizing thought
Battling logic and reason

Do you know the weight of your words?
Can I believe them
Should I trust them
I've already laid it out for you to see

Can you feel my words?
Did you notice?

Can't Breathe

2007-07-16T22:50:00.000-06:00

You haunt my dreams
Lurk in my thoughts
Always present but never there
Like a shadow of what
Could've been
And never was
An impression so solid and real
Pressing at my consciousness
Keeping my heart on hold
Holding my feelings hostage
You've made it impossible
Unreasonable to expect another
Nothing can replace
Match up
Measure up
Tightly you hold onto me
Desperate to let go
Unable to allow you to slip
Crave your clutch on me
Desire that which pains
Agony from the dark
Shadows shouldn't inflict
Scar me
Mar the flesh
You haunt my dreams
Grip my heart
Encompass my soul
You make me uninhabitable

Words

2007-05-22T23:34:00.000-06:00

the words are racing
beating at my consciousness to fall upon the page
not taking any order
any form
anything
just rushing with emotion and panic
desperately wanting to be said

clawing and fighting to be
first to reach your eyes and touch
your heart

nothing comes from the ado
letters and sounds
blocked by frustration of
uncertainty

wanting to say just the right words
to reach you
touch you....

This Morning...

2007-01-10T19:03:00.001-07:00

This isn't one of my regular posts. It's another story and it's not for those under the age of 18. If you're not into dirty content then I suggest you move on today. However if you'd like to read a little naughtiness and don't mind that this style of writing isn't my strong suit then please allow me to entertain you. Feel free to let me know what you think....

As you come through the door you can hear the sounds of the shower just turning on. Silently you slip by the half opened door, making your way to your camera, undressing with each step and as you slip off your boxers your throbbing cock is released.

Quietly you push open the bathroom door, happy to see that the glass doors are not yet fogged up. My back is to you and with the water running over me I can't hear the shutter of the camera as you start snapping photos. As I bend down to wash my legs you involuntarily let out a curse under your breath at the sight.

I stand up suddenly, startled by the sound, to see you standing there and a smile slowly spreads across my lips as my nipples become rigid. As the doors slowly fog I move to face you, allowing you to capture my dripping body as I feel my cunt getting wetter and my body begin to ache.

Through the fogged glass I see you put the camera on counter and I move to the end of the shower to allow you to join me. As soon as you're inside the glass walls you push me back against the glass placing both arms on either side of my body, trapping me, and roughly you capture my mouth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a morning of lust and fulfillment in the shower, I got myself dressed and ready for the day ahead. I had done a good job of keeping away from you so that I could focus on my morning routine. You had a different idea for this morning and enter the kitchen just as I'm bent over taking dishes from the dishwasher. I hear you move behind me and shoot you a mock-scolding look over my shoulder while balancing a stack of plates in my hands in return you try to look innocent standing there in your state of near undress taunting me.

I bend over again and can hear you mutter a curse under your breath, aware that my skirt has lifted just high enough for you to see that I've left the underwear in the drawer. As I reach up to the top shelf I feel your hands slide up under my shirt and capture my breasts. I can feel my nipples push against the fabric that holds them and gasp as I feel you push against me; your cock hard against my ass. You reach up further to pull my hands down to the counter, bending me over at the waist; impatiently you pull my skirt off and let out a groan as your eyes are met with bare skin...

Without waiting and with no apologies you hungrily and roughly enter making me cry out in surprise. In a moment my lust is matched evenly with yours as I push back against your throbbing cock as you thrust into me... using me... taking the pleasure that you seek....

Once spent you thrust deeply a final time, making sure that I will feel the effects all day, making sure that I will be black and blue across my hips. I turn to face you and bend down to taste me on you, taking you all in, licking every inch of your reawakening member only to stop once it reaches hardness and leave you wanting as badly as I'm aching. It's going to be a good day.

Reality

2006-12-13T09:41:00.000-07:00

i suppose the reality has finally set it
you no longer think of me the way
i still do you

we can blame circumstance
but that doesn't help my heart
i think of you and am....

you have me all messed up
my head isn't on straight when it comes to you
reality is that i shouldn't care
i should walk away
i shouldn't feel like this

but i do.

you haunt my dreams
you've stuck my heart
you create my tears

reality doesn't matter
when reality can be warped to suit
i can justify what we have

don't you want to?

Untitled - November 3, 2006

2006-11-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

the reality of my life seems empty
this getting dressed and going to work
in awe of others who act with a joyful purpose
this purpose of work, of friends, of family.

i was telling myself i must direct my life
into a safe, structured box.
perhaps a comfortable 2-bedroom condo box
with a playroom
for a scripted future
i'm supposed to want
scripted by someone else
who wanted to sign my name
as the author

but what doesn't feel right, just isn't right.

so hello again.

by Stephen Pepper

Night Words

2006-10-25T13:15:00.000-06:00

4 am
insomnia again
open my night obsession
see the name I treasure

the room shrinks
to encompass only the flickering screen
fingers move on their own accord
eyes skim across your words
unaware of captured breath
'til my lungs scream for air

the words
both vague and telling
not exactly what I wanted or needed
but all that you could give

finally lie
close my eyes
think of you
see your face
imagine your embrace

and finally sleep

Untitled - Oct 24/06

2006-10-25T13:12:00.000-06:00

piano keys recapture my spirit
i added new geography to the map now traveled
my shoes walked those sidewalks alone
in those moments, i imagined who walked alongside-
who wanted that same photograph
wondering and waiting satisfies only until the morning.
buttons and buttons, belt buckle, walk to subway
joyless until-

by Stephen Pepper

still sorry

2006-10-22T11:06:00.000-06:00

still sorry that i couldn't be what you needed
sad that i'll never again feel
your perfect lips
hot against my wanting soul

so sorry that you hurt at my hands
sorrier still that i continue to
feel lost and alone
while you feel....

free

loved

sorry that we're not we
sorry that somehow it's my fault
sorry that i can't make it right

my heart is heavy with the sorrow that has
filled the places your love
left barren and raw

like salt in a wound
sorrow rubs my soul
tangible is the pain i know

and i'm still sorry

Polars

2006-09-30T16:33:00.000-06:00

reaching out
finding me... touching me... feeling me...
curling in
seeking your hands
seeking your arms... your lips... your eyes...

sighing in contentment
wrapping me up in you
pulling me in... holding me close...
tension flows from our bodies
the world sneaks away

the minutes an eternity
and yet never long enough
life pulls me from you
my heart holds me in place

always seeking
always reaching
and you wrap me up in you

Understanding by Anon

2006-08-10T15:04:00.000-06:00

If I knew the heart of you,
And you the soul of me,
We'd laugh and cry together always,
As friendly as could be.

You'd know the very, very minute,
I said a hasty word,
And think, "The dear, she's overtired,
And pretend you had not heard.

And if by chance you hurt me - well,
I never would complain.
For I would know you did not mean
To cause me hurt or pain.

And never would we lose our faith
Though near or far apart.
If only I knew the soul of you
And you could read my heart.

-Anonymous

Punishing

2006-07-16T18:14:00.000-06:00

the punishment is deserved
you make me feel small
and in being small I feel loved

the abuse is craved
logic tells me it's wrong
my body responds
my soul craves all that you dish out

I take it
always with a smile
never a tear
no matter the severity
the punishment is deserved

abuse me
it's all I know
it's what makes you smile

pain completes me
your hands give me everything I need

Dangling

2006-07-10T01:11:00.000-06:00

I'm dangling by a thread....
waiting to hear your words against my lips
waiting to hear you breathe so I can inhale
waiting to feel your touch so I may know
waiting for you to move so I know what I can do

I hang in the moment for you
always with baited breath I feel that I never know
always unsure with what to do
always in confusion about where you stand
always up against a wall when it comes to you

I don't know why I wait for you
there's no reason why you keep me between breaths
cannot fathom why it is I put up with it
all the uncertainties should turn me away
and yet I stay and wait and desire nothing but making you smile

I don't understand the hold you have on me
How is it you have me at your fingertips?
How did you manage to capture me so wholly?
How long will you leave me dangling at your hand?

Reaching for the Flowers

2006-05-29T19:03:00.000-06:00

I'm tenatively reaching out
stretching for the flower of hope you've offered
below is the dark water
whose depths I cannot see
water that can swallow me whole
and as I close my eyes and stretch out my hand
I'm hoping that you won't let me fall in

See Me

2006-05-17T10:29:00.000-06:00

I want to look at you
see you
watch you

I want to see me in your eyes
see me looking back at me
see that look that I've been missing

I want to see the love
in your eyes
the love I see everytime
you really see me

I want to look at you
and have you look back at me
and see me the way you did

Please see me again
I miss the way you looked at me
I just want to see that love again

promises

2006-03-05T11:42:00.000-07:00

make me one promise
just this one last time

promise me you'll never forget
that you'll remember
when everything was great & perfect
perfect as it was for us
remember how that felt for you
hold that feeling close
never forget

promise me you'll remember
remember the way it felt
when we worked
promise me you'll remember
never settle for less

promise me you'll never settle
out of fear of being alone
please make me that promise
& hold it
hold it better than all those
we've long since let go

promise me this
just one last promise

gasp

2006-02-04T17:20:00.000-07:00

and my breath catches in my throat
my eyes roll under flittering lids

a gasp follows the push
muscle tense
and toes curl

the shudders start from the top of my head
and wave through to my very being
like waves lapping at the sand

pulse races to beat the unseen clock
stars explode from no where

when all goes black
slowly the vision clears
and the breath returns

just be still

2006-01-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

and so I wait
sometimes there's nothing else I can do
but wait
wait to hear
wait to speak
wait to breathe
in life there are times
when the most appropriate action
is no action at all
just to wait

Inspired Rambles

2005-12-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

reflective
introspective
again revisiting
this time not so crushing

completely asea
world quite askew
seeing with different eyes
knowing of another view

wanting to hold on
knowing it is to be free
whatever was keeping me
this time not holding steady

waiting for devastation
waiting for definitives
defining what is where it's to be at
without absolution or partiality

calmly
serene
not quite here neither nor there
floating about blindly

unsecure
undesirably
without knowledge of all this
familiar territory

Absolutely

2005-12-29T11:10:00.000-07:00

Feeling confused
a little overwhelmed
by all that's brought me here

Anything that happened
there's no regret
to be found in this heart

Wanting with desire
it happened
shan't ever rue the night

perhaps should've known better
ought to've restrained
until there was less
blurring the brain
warming the senses
perhaps it would've never
transpired if patience won out

no regrets
went passionately
no matter what occurs next
no regrets
only yearning to do again

rejection

2005-12-29T11:07:00.000-07:00

I listened to your words
saying all that I was
thinking and feeling in return

when all was done,
left in a daze
of happiness and knowing
but then fears,
old and deep,
started in

went to you
seeking you out to soothe them
I came up empty handed
you can't be found
you're distanced

trusting you felt as I do
so wrong
was so mistaken
now I'm left with nothing but
a memory tainted
by the aftermath

etching my old fears
into new awareness
hurting like I didn't
expect to at your hands
anguish threatening
to swallow me whole

Once More

2005-12-23T10:11:00.000-07:00

to once more feel hot loving kisses
crashing down upon my lips
across my skin, leaving trails of fire

to know again
the glorious sensations as
fingertips dance down my spine

to once again
know a breath ragged
flush with want; with every nerve

to once more look into eyes
that are full, brimming
with passion and desire

but mostly I want again
to know, to feel
love strong and true, love meant for me

Distance

2005-12-18T16:36:00.000-07:00

As we talk
With so many miles between
I can imagine you
clearly as you lie in your bed
as I lie in mine

My skin starts to tingle
my mind starts to wonder
I drift off a little
imagining you're here

Listening to you
is like liquid silk
I feel your words
run over my body

The thoughts I have
far from pure
dreams they give me
make me quiver

To talk to you
late at night
before we sleep
I can only imagine
until it all becomes
real

How?

2005-12-16T04:20:00.000-07:00

So, how did I know?
Simple. . .
I never had to ask.
I never asked myself if he
was the right one for me.
He just was. . .

In my quietest moments,
I knew it to be true and. . .
I felt it like
I've never felt anything since.

Picture

2005-12-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I Am

2005-12-07T01:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I am bold
fearless & courageous
ready to conquer the world

Sometimes I am nothing
invisible
getting passed by

Sometimes I am the best
everything you want & need
exactly perfect

Sometimes I am overwhelmed
needing to be held as I cry

Sometimes I am passionate
consumed by desire

Then there are times
I am everything all at once

In the end
I am who I am
I can be no one else...

You must accept me as this
there is no other me alive...

Closed

2005-09-07T19:13:00.000-06:00

as I sit and stare
I see you there above me
shuddering breaths
ragged from pleasure
heavy from grief
things that I cannot say
emotions I try to ignore
such a release
so much relief
and you stare down at me
your eyes are full
brimming with a love I don't share
I see complete happiness
a whole person
when I look up and into you
how can I turn away
how can I shatter that perfect world
I just can't feel like you do
because he taught me how to
and then showed me every reason
to never feel again

Done

2005-07-13T13:25:00.000-06:00

I'm done
the crying
the questioning

I'm tired of hurting
I hate that I can't sleep
you hold over me
a few strands of hope
that you wickedly wield

I want to be happy
no more waiting

Enough
if you don't want
us
in any which way
fine

But stop doing this halfway
either we do this
or I walk away without you
for good

I'm done
it hurts
very deeply
but it's over.

Six Months

2005-07-13T13:20:00.000-06:00

How did you choose the time?
did you consult the stars
or flip to a random calendar page?
how,
enlighten me.

are you doing this for all the right
or all the wrong reasons?

If you must deny
so that you may not feel
Are you really without?

how is it that you
believe time erases emotions so strong?
is six months enough?

what can you let go of in that time...

Why deny the love you feel?

Disappointment

2005-05-21T17:21:00.000-06:00

disappointment rakes through my body
aching pulls at my heart
what I want I won't have
what I can see I can't touch
trying to give up
wanting to move on
it's wanting that keeps me here
try not to hurt
can't stop
so difficult
disappointment

Only

2005-05-21T17:17:00.000-06:00

Only the best hearts break
kind hearts hurt
if you felt no pain
then you felt no joy
the world is unfair
those who love and trust
get hurt the most
While in pain it's hard to see
that those are the same
that felt true love
and will feel it again
Comfort can be taken from this

a heart can mend.

Brad

2005-05-12T22:12:00.000-06:00

I just thought of you
it's been a long time
since you've crossed my mind
and yet you can still
make me smile
the half smile you loved so

Now I'm wondering
how you are
if you're still
as you were
kind and funny
always ready with
loving arms

Did you ever find her?
the perfect one for you
the one you wanted me to be
I haven't found him yet
the one I wished you were

2005-05-09T22:06:00.000-06:00

To know
When present
When absent
No more questioning
Lack of second guessing
What a skill to posess

Capture the Moment

2005-05-07T16:51:00.000-06:00

And then he walked in. She didn't see him at first, her sight blurred from the tears and her body sore for the events that had just occured. He walked up to her slowly at first but quickened his pace when he saw her eyes. It shocked him. This moment of weakness was foreign for him to see. She was always so strong, always in control.

She caught the look of surprise in his eyes when she finally noticed him. It made her eyes swell up with new tears. It was bad enough that he had once before cast her aside but because of another he was here and is seeing her with all guards impossibly down. With every ounce of strength in her body she pulled herself off of the floor and headed for the door. Her emotions battled within her. Part of her prayed for escape and the other wanted him to catch her.

He knew panic when he saw it. It was obvious and clear on her face. He reached out for her just as she turned away.

"Don't go. Please."

She kept going, shoulders heaving from the pain. With three long strides he was beside her and catching her arm, he turned her to face him.

With her head bowed, "Please. I don't need you to see me right now. Shouldn't you be with someone else? Just go away."

He tried to lift her chin so that he could look at her. She forcefully pulled away from his hand. Pulling free of his grip she took one step back and looked him square in the eyes. He saw it then. The face he couldn't forget and the eyes he'd always know.

He felt it like a shock to the system. He didn't expect to feel like this. He knew in that moment that she had captured him in a way that no one else could ever hope to. Looking into her eyes, silently defiant still wet with her tears. Vulnerable yet so strong. He knew.

She saw his look change and she tried not to feel the change in her heart. Why did he have to look at her like that? Hadn't she suffered enough heartache at his hands?

Resolving to stay strong and keep her distance, she went to turn away. A motion caught her eye and stopped her from running. He had reached his hand out to the void between them, waiting for her to meet him in the middle. With open eyes he looked at her, not saying a word just looking at her and waited. She stared at his out stretched hand. Compelled by what it meant, she gingerly touched his fingers.

Knowing he had to act quickly, he wrapped his hand around hers and pulled her in.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know until today. I came as soon as I could. Oh god, I'm sorry"

He held her strong, not relaxing until he felt her wince. She started to pull away and he held her closer, more tenderly and aware of what must have happened to her. Feeling tears of anger and emotions much stronger start to make their way down his face, he bent to whisper in her ear,

"Please, don't pull away yet. Please. Give me just this moment and if it has to be my last with you, let me a little longer so that I will never forget."

She felt her chest tighten and then she started to cry again. And sunk into his arms and let him hold her. It felt so good to have his arms around her and as familiar as it was, this time it was different. There they stood, for what seemed an eternity. Silently drinking in each other and drawing strength from the sum of who they are.

If

2005-05-02T22:06:00.000-06:00

if i could only see what you do
if you would only feel what i do

would you cry at the levels i hide from you
could you handle all that goes on
would i be able to deal with your view
i don't understand that which you enjoy
don't know if i want to

wishing that you and i could be the same
why can't you look into me like i do you
how is it that you never believe me
cowardice keeps me from revealing the
evidence you need to think it's all real

wonder if you'd release the tears to match mine
if only you saw them released
if only there was a way to show you
without giving up this facade
if only you could see what i see

Sometimes

2005-04-30T22:47:00.000-06:00

Sometimes
When we are quiet
The world speaks at length
It tells us of things that we've missed
People we've lost
And emotions we dare not feel

Sometimes
The world is patient
It will wait for us to see
Then there are times
The world is wanting
Shows us that we want not to know

Sometimes
We can sit quiet
And feel those not here
Friends we've lost touch,
We can feel them here

Sometimes
I can sit here
I can remember
I can feel

Sometimes
I miss
Then I don't
When I feel your smile
I remember

Sometimes...

Let Me Begin

2005-04-30T22:43:00.000-06:00

So, let me start by saying that this is going to be a little bleak. I have tried to write happy stuff but it never really comes out well. I write all the time and I'm looking forward to sharing this with others. If I have nothing new to add, I shall add some of the pieces that I like the most. Most of these works will be mine. Some pieces will be from other people that I enjoy and give me inspiration. Either way, I hope you enjoy it all. I have another site if you get all concerned about me.