reflective
introspective
again revisiting
this time not so crushing
completely asea
world quite askew
seeing with different eyes
knowing of another view
wanting to hold on
knowing it is to be free
whatever was keeping me
this time not holding steady
waiting for devastation
waiting for definitives
defining what is where it's to be at
without absolution or partiality
calmly
serene
not quite here neither nor there
floating about blindly
unsecure
undesirably
without knowledge of all this
familiar territory
Feeling confused
a little overwhelmed
by all that's brought me here
Anything that happened
there's no regret
to be found in this heart
Wanting with desire
it happened
shan't ever rue the night
perhaps should've known better
ought to've restrained
until there was less
blurring the brain
warming the senses
perhaps it would've never
transpired if patience won out
no regrets
went passionately
no matter what occurs next
no regrets
only yearning to do again
I listened to your words
saying all that I was
thinking and feeling in return
when all was done,
left in a daze
of happiness and knowing
but then fears,
old and deep,
started in
went to you
seeking you out to soothe them
I came up empty handed
you can't be found
you're distanced
trusting you felt as I do
so wrong
was so mistaken
now I'm left with nothing but
a memory tainted
by the aftermath
etching my old fears
into new awareness
hurting like I didn't
expect to at your hands
anguish threatening
to swallow me whole
to once more feel hot loving kisses
crashing down upon my lips
across my skin, leaving trails of fire
to know again
the glorious sensations as
fingertips dance down my spine
to once again
know a breath ragged
flush with want; with every nerve
to once more look into eyes
that are full, brimming
with passion and desire
but mostly I want again
to know, to feel
love strong and true, love meant for me
As we talk
With so many miles between
I can imagine you
clearly as you lie in your bed
as I lie in mine
My skin starts to tingle
my mind starts to wonder
I drift off a little
imagining you're here
Listening to you
is like liquid silk
I feel your words
run over my body
The thoughts I have
far from pure
dreams they give me
make me quiver
To talk to you
late at night
before we sleep
I can only imagine
until it all becomes
real
So, how did I know?
Simple. . .
I never had to ask.
I never asked myself if he
was the right one for me.
He just was. . .
In my quietest moments,
I knew it to be true and. . .
I felt it like
I've never felt anything since.
You're looking at me from your picture
a moment when everything was right
perfection personified in your eyes
You walked away
slammed the door
said your goodbyes without letting me know
You can be content in all that you have
the end was your choice
it was your time
You didn't let me say it
never allowed me the chance
to close my eyes and lock you out
You made it impossible
not to miss you
not to pine for you
You took away my goodbye
left me staring at a wall
left me with a picture
You haunt my dreams
please let me be
I wish the picture would fade...
Sometimes I am bold
fearless & courageous
ready to conquer the world
Sometimes I am nothing
invisible
getting passed by
Sometimes I am the best
everything you want & need
exactly perfect
Sometimes I am overwhelmed
needing to be held as I cry
Sometimes I am passionate
consumed by desire
Then there are times
I am everything all at once
In the end
I am who I am
I can be no one else...
You must accept me as this
there is no other me alive...
I don't cry in life
So I write instead
A little dark
But its me
Old Words
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